Why children deserve spaces where they can truly THRIVE
"Children are not things to be molded, but are people to be unfolded." – Jess Lair
As leaders and managers in early childhood, we all want the same thing: a warm, safe,
happy environment where children can grow, explore, and feel valued. But creating that
space isn’t just about the physical surroundings or the resources we offer. It’s about the
culture we nurture, how we lead, how we talk to each other, and the atmosphere we foster
every day. The emotional space of our setting, the culture, atmosphere, energy and vibe.
Here’s the truth: Children are incredibly perceptive. They notice when things aren’t quite
right, when there’s tension, or when negativity is bubbling just beneath the surface. They
absorb the atmosphere and the energy around them, whether it’s calm and supportive or
tense and full of gossip.
Sadly, when Early Years environments are full of staff who don't get along, when discord,
tension and petty squabbles are rife, children see it, hear it and feel it! They are stuck in this
atmosphere and cannot escape!
We are role models to children and it's essential we give children something positive to
emulate and copy. To be environments in which they can THRIVE- NOT JUST SURVIVE
And that’s where the real work begins.
Because if we want children to thrive, we need to look at the environment we’re creating for
staff too. Toxic culture spreads, like overripe fruit in a bowl. Once negativity, gossip, or petty
squabbles start, they don’t stay contained. They seep into every corner of the setting,
affecting everyone, especially the children.
So, why does gossip happen?
Often, it’s a sign that staff feel unheard, undervalued, or overwhelmed. Sometimes it’s a way
of coping when things feel out of control. It’s not about blame; it’s about understanding that
we’re all human, and we all have moments of feeling stretched too thin.
But ignoring it isn’t the answer.
Turning a blind eye only allows negativity to grow. It spreads quietly, like a virus, and can
create a culture where staff disengage, withdraw, or simply go through the motions what
some call “quiet quitting.” And the worst part? Children pick up on all of that, even when we
think they don’t.
We have a responsibility, a DUTY to create emotionally safe spaces for everyone.
For our staff, yes. But most importantly, for the children.
They deserve a place where kindness, respect, and honesty are the foundation. Where
gossip and petty drama are replaced with genuine teamwork and support.
Here’s what you can do, today:
Lead by example. Show kindness, patience, and openness. Your behaviour sets the tone.
Understand why gossip happens. Listen to your team, what’s really going on beneath the
surface?
Set clear boundaries. Make it known that negativity and gossip aren’t part of your culture.
This happens even as early as interview day.
Address issues early. Don’t let negativity fester. Tackle it with honesty and compassion.
Foster connection. Celebrate successes, encourage honest conversations, and build trust.
Focus on cheering each other on.
Embed values in action. Values aren’t just a list on the wall, they need to be understood
and seen in ‘ACTION’ CONSTANTLY
VALUES CREATE YOUR CULTURE
Remember: change starts with us.
We have the power to shape the environment, one conversation, one decision at a time. And
that environment can be a place where children and educators feel safe, supported, and
inspired every single day.
So, I ask you: Are you ready to lead differently? To create a culture where kindness and
respect is something your and your team strive towards constantly, and that everyone
recognises that negativity, bitching, gossiping has no place? IT’S NOT ALLOWED
Finally a gentle reminder. The Early Years Foundation Stage emphasises personal, social,
and emotional development as a prime area, because we know how vital these skills are for
children’s future.
But if we want children to learn respect, kindness, and resilience, we need to model and lead
by example. It starts with us. When we show patience, empathy, and genuine care in the
way we behave and communicate, children see it and they learn to do the same.
So, let’s be the leaders who nurture and create the culture we want children to thrive in. Let’s
empower our team to be the role models who turn words into actions and set the tone for
kindness, respect, and connection.
Let’s lead with HEART, Courage and confidence
Want to learn more? Join me Stephanie Bennett to help you learn, grow and implement new
leadership skills.
To let go of limiting beliefs, self doubt and that negative voice that keeps holding you back.
You ARE AMAZING, thank you for taking the time to read this blog.
Cannot wait to share another with you soon!
If you’re looking for more personalised support please email me at
